Three ring circus

Do you ever feel like you are standing in the middle of a three-ring circus?  There is so much going on around you that you are not sure if the elephants are coming out, the tightrope walkers are in the air, or if the motorcycles are going into the steel cage.   Infertility often puts us standing right there in the middle of the three ring circus not having any idea what is going on or what is coming next.

Infertility takes the three-ring circus to a completely new level because no ones three ring circus is the same.  I found myself standing in the middle of that three ring circus, as did Andrea, and you may have as well.  It becomes more difficult because none of us have the exact same circus.  Therefore, we feel alone because even if our friend has infertility her story is completely different that ours.

Can I let you in on a secret – you are not alone that is just satan trying to make you feel like you are.  Satan tries to make us feel broken, inadequate, alone, and not worthy.  Don’t buy those lies!  You are wonderfully made, you are a child of God, and you are worth the life of Jesus!

In those moments of the circus going wild where do you turn?  Even if your friend has a different circus, talk to her.  If your spouse isn’t aware of the circus going on in your mind, talk to him.  If you need a professional to talk to, do it!  Most importantly talk to your creator about it, God wants you to talk to Him.  He knew you before you were ever created, he loved you even before you were created, and he even knew you would have fertility issues before you were created.  Talk to Him, He already knows your thoughts, wants, and wishes; He still wants you to talk to Him.  How worthy does that make us that He wants us to talk to Him!

What is going on in your circus? Is the tent just being put up, are the acts going on all around you, or are the people leaving the show?

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Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is just a few days away.  When I was younger I would have never thought one holiday or day could be so difficult.  It is one day that you cannot escape it unless you stay home, keep your radio and tv turned off, and of course do not get on social media.  A day where every song, commercial, social media post, and person talks about mothers and children.  I know it is a difficult day for many women due to infertility.  Some do stay home, some skip certain events for the day.

This is a place where you can be real, be honest, and be you.  Do you stay home, read the Bible more, pray more, or just mentally shut down for the day waiting for it to pass?

How do you handle it?

Time

Do you ever have those seasons in life that you find yourself wondering where the time has gone?  Goodness, I didn’t realize how long it had been since we had written a post.  Let me apologize for being away for a while.  I am sorry that I have not kept my end of the responsibility of creating a community for all of us.

Andrea and I have been working on our ideas and plans for this blog, and will keep it active.  We would also love your input.  How can we help you through this journey?  What can we discuss to assist you?  What do you want to talk about?  Imagine we are sitting down together to chat – what would you want to talk about?

 

10 Things about Me

 

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  1. I met my husband in a chat room my freshman year of college, yes we were those crazy people, and our first date was to Wendys!!
  2. My Mom and Dad got married on my Moms 18th They have always been my role models for what a marriage should be.
  3. I was diagnosed with 2 cervices when I was 18, part of our infertility issues.
  4. If my Dad had got to name me my name would have been Pinky Lee and my Brother Blue, thank goodness my Mom stepped in and I was named after her labor and delivery nurse.
  5. My first job was at a Beanie Baby Cart in the mall!! I loved it because I could talk to my friends at the mall all day long.
  6. I was in the band in high school, played the flute.
  7. My Son Brooks is named after a little boy at the daycare I worked in during college, who I fell in love with. He had Downs Syndrome and is part of the reason I love working with Special Needs children.
  8. I hate Pizza, yes I am un-American.
  9. My husband is a wrestling coach, as was his Dad, but I had never been to a wrestling match until I met him and now that is how we spend most of our weekends during the winter.
  10. I am extremely shy when it comes to meeting new people, so if it seems I am a little stuck up I am not I just have a hard time with people I don’t know.

10 things you may not know about me

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Hey this is Chrissy, and I wanted to share some things about me that you may not know about me.

  1. Commercial jingles stick with me, and they may be repeated to you at random times.  You may hear about an insurance company, a drink maker, or a toy store.
  2.  I met my husband through my brother, they were best friends and on the volunteer fire department together.  I was on the auxiliary and so many of the guys were like brothers to me.  My brother is now a professional fire fighter, but my husband is no longer on the fire department.
  3. Myself, my husband, and my grandmother all have the same birth day – different years of course.  My grandmother always thought I was born 2 days after her birthday until she had to get a copy of her birth certificate and found out she was incorrect on her birthday.
  4. My first job was a telemarketer for a cemetery.  I had to call and schedule appointments for the sells representative to go out and try to sell plots to them.  I then worked as a hostess in a seafood restaurant, in child care as a 3 and 4 yr old teacher, at a law firm, and then in the District Attorney’s Office.  I now work at a domestic violence and sexual assault agency.
  5. I was almost named Crystal Gayle after the singer, but thank goodness they changed their mind.  My oldest brother also ran away from home when I was born.  Granted he ran to our uncle’s house, but he still reminds me that he ran away.
  6. Sea turtles are my favorite animal. To learn about their odds just to make it from the nest to the ocean is inspiring.  The beach we go to always has sea turtle nests, and each year I stalk the nests just trying to see them making their journey, but I have never seen one hatch.
  7. I love the smell of tractors and tobacco curing.  I grew up on a tobacco farm and those smells take me back to memories of my family and especially my grandfather.  I was assigned the job of cutting the string on the stringer, driving the tractor, or helping at the barn.
  8. I do not handle emotion well.  Most of the time I bottle it up until it overflows and then the tears flow.  I feel like I have to be strong for others and if that means I cry in the shower of by myself then that is what happens.  I will of course talk about issues to my husband, family, and friends but there are lots of times that emotions overtake me.
  9. I have the support system ever!  They support all of my crazy ideas and ventures.  If it is something that will take 30 minutes or an all night Relay For Life event.  I do not know where I would be without them, but I do know that I would not be nearly as sane as I am today.  My best friends and I may not be able to decide on where to eat, but we can quickly decide to meet for lunch.
  10. The beach is my refreshing place.  When we worked in tobacco our payment every year was a trip to the beach.  My first trip with Steve was to the beach.  We got married at the beach.  The first time we thought I was pregnant was at the beach.  Two years later we went to the beach for our anniversary and a month later we found out I was pregnant.  I would love to live at the beach, but don’t tell Steve because the last time he mentioned it I wouldn’t discuss it because I want to be close to my family and friends.

What do we not know about you? Feel free to share below.

 

The Life After

While going through infertility I had an amazing support system, I know that I was very lucky in this.  My husband and I were very open with our journey to family and friends. I found a Women’s support group that I joined to help me deal with my feelings and hurt. While I meet some wonderful women in that group, the moment I got pregnant I felt like an outsider. So now what?

I was one of the lucky ones! I got pregnant and have my happy ending, I know that not everyone is so lucky.  I have an amazing group of friends that love my boys like their own. But I still sometimes feel like I am no longer part of the infertility world, like the struggle I went through no longer really matters because I have 2 wonderful boys. So my question is how do you cross that barrier to still be in that world?

Infertility is one of the worse things that I have every been through, I am a stronger person now, which is one of the best things about infertility, but I still don’t want to leave that world behind. That is one reason Chrissy and I started this blog. We are no longer struggling but we still have support to give.  How do you bring awareness to infertility when you kind of get kicked out of the “club” when you have children.

How can we offer support to others?

Chrissy and I prayed about this question for many months before we started a Facebook page and blog. We saw many signs along the way, and ignored many signs along the way.  When a friend of ours gave our names to a friend and said she felt like her friend needed someone to talk to about her journey. I will be the first to tell you I am very shy to new people so I was a little nervous about talking with someone I didn’t know, but Chrissy and I both talked to her and offered support and prayers. After that we knew what we had to do.

Infertility is near and dear to our hearts! We want to offer any support that we can to anyone who needs it.

 

heart-outline-md         Andrea

Upcoming studies

We are so excited about our 2 upcoming studies!!

August we will take a look at infertility in the Bible.  Who suffered from infertility, how did they handle, and what can we learn from it?

September we will be reading Hannah’s Hope by Jennifer Saake and studying this amazing book.

We hope you will join us at Faith Like Hannah!