Hidden Hurt

Inside you feel like you are sinking.  Broken hearted, drowning in grief, or digging deeper into depression.  Do you hide your hurt?  Who do you hide it from?

For me I hid it from just about everyone – my friends, my family, my husband, and sometimes even from God.  I didn’t want anyone to know that I was imploding.  I didn’t know what was wrong with me, what I had done wrong, or more importantly how to fix it.  I saw others get pregnant with what seemed like no issues (if they had infertility I didn’t know it).  I saw women upset that they had become pregnant, women not caring for the child they were carrying, or had already had.  I worked in a career that brought lots of people to my attention that were not caring for their children.  How could God give them a child or children but not me?

I finally realized that I couldn’t judge those women.  I didn’t know their story or their hurt.  Keep in mind that was a long road or realization, but I had to let go of that hurt.  Was it fair that I was dealing with infertility, no.  However, it was not my fault or the other women’s fault that I was dealing with infertility.  I couldn’t blame myself or blame them as they were just as innocent in my diagnosis as I was.  Plus, they had no idea what my story was so I couldn’t hold them responsible.

I was blessed with an amazing support system that I realized just how important they were.  They could lift my spirit, make me laugh when I wanted to cry, or if I cried they would join me.  We need to share our hurt and not keep it hidden.  It is not healthy to keep it bottled up.  At some point the pressure in that bottle will explode, and from my experience it typically does not explode at the best time, place, or person.

You may not have a huge support system, but you have us.  You may not know how to deal with the pressure building up, but we are here.  You may not know the best way to deal with how you feel, but we are here to listen.  Will you trust us, and remove the top from the bottle of emotions you are storing?  You may choose to completely remove the top, or maybe just release it a little at a time.  Regardless we are here, and want to support you on this journey.  Do not continue to hide your hurt, let yourself begin to heal your hurt.

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Creating a Community

One reason for starting this blog is to create a community regarding infertility.  During the journey with infertility I often felt alone as I watched others get pregnant and have children.  Infertility makes you feel broken, alone, and unworthy.  Now lets look at that sentence again – satan makes you feel broken, alone, and unworthy.  Faith Like Hannah is a chance to change our mindset.  We do not want to disregard the pain of infertility, but instead create a community that supports, encourages, and uplifts each other.

We know that it is difficult to watch others get pregnant, but as sisters in Christ and as fellow infertile women shouldn’t we also see the joy?  I am not saying that you are not entitled to your emotions because you most definitely are.  I am just suggesting a community that is able to share the tears and the joys through the journey of infertility.

Imagine dealing with infertility and finally getting your miracle baby, but you no longer have friends around because their pain is too great.  Imagine being in a group regarding infertility and once you become pregnant you are no longer seen as “one of them”.  Imagine going through infertility with no one to encourage you, listen, or share the joy or pain.  A lot of times that is exactly what people with infertility experience.  We want to change that.  We want to share in the joy, pray and support in the pain.  Most importantly to be there for each other as a community.

We hope you will join this community and also help us to reach more people who so desperately need this type of community.

Galatians 6:2
Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.